It’s one of the most irritating and infuriating aspects of airline travel – security. You join the seemingly never-ending line, wait your turn, and then find yourself being subjected to scans, searches, and interrogations. And, even though you’re totally innocent and law abiding, the chances are, by the time you reach your turn in the line, you’ll be feeling (and probably looking) pretty suspicious.

Sure, delays at security can be frustrating at times, but would you really feel safe with these guys in charge?

First up, a man with his face totally hidden sets the alarm off. No problem, come right through. Next up, we’ve got a knife wielding ninja. Again he sets the alarm off, and again the security guards just wave him on through.

The guy with the two suspicious looking canisters and the gentleman kitted out in an explosive belt both receive the same warm welcome. In fact, our two questionable security guards even complement the explosive man on his belt.

For a confidential chat, Call us FREE
FREEPHONE 0800 044 3766

Next come the women. And our two friends in security seem to completely change their approach, going from the slackest of the slack, to extremely security conscious and keen to search everyone as intimately as possible - can’t think why!

The first lady who comes through doesn’t set off any alarms, however is instructed to shake her breasts just to prove that they aren’t harbouring any illegal substance. This first unsuspecting victim is followed by a string of others, each of whom are subjected to what can only be described as sexual harassment as they try to board their flight.   

All we’ve got to say is thank goodness all the security guards we’ve come across at airports are a lot more professional (and politically correct!) than this pair of clowns!